


Vulnerability

by SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock



Series: Supernatural As Told by Me: If Cas Was Always There [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Car Sex, Fluff, M/M, Sex, Top Castiel, just porn, like some angst, mostly porn with a sprinkle of plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 18:04:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10904586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock/pseuds/SuperWhoAvengeTrekLock
Summary: Dean's been feeling horrible after his father's death and Castiel wants Dean to know that he's his boyfriend and he can be vulnerable with him. So he does it the only way Dean will listen: Through sex.This is part of a series but it's mostly just bottom Dean smut and Dean bottoming for the first time. It can be read as a standalone. All you need to know is that it's set right after Dean and Sam lost their father in season 2 but Cas has been inserted into their world and he's not an angel.





	Vulnerability

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT?! Two stories in two days? She's back at it again :)

Dean was more than a little broken. In more than one way too. He didn’t know how to take care of himself fully. Not in a healthy way. He didn’t know how to vent his feelings. He didn’t know how to let someone be there for him. Hold him, love him. He didn’t know how to be _vulnerable_. And up until then… it hadn’t been a problem. No one needed him to be.

That being said, the lack of vulnerability that Dean was used to didn’t stop him from spending the last hour or so letting Castiel hold him and whisper to him that everything was going to be okay. That it would hurt now and that it always would… but that it would get better.

He knew he was right. But his father was still dead and he had a hard time coming to grips with it. He had a hard time simply accepting the fact that he now had to find a way to move through life without his parent.

Dean could only last a little over an hour with Castiel being loving and supportive. It sounded crazy, he knew that. But he’d gone through life being told to toughen up and to stay that way. Funny enough it was by the same person he was feeling vulnerable about: his father.

Castiel noticed it. He noticed that Dean would pull away after he’d done anything remotely open with him. Whether it had been talking or being put in a submissive position while they were kissing, Dean could only take it for so long before he had to be back in charge in some way. He would change the subject, change the position, or pull away all together. And Castiel… well he was getting sick of it.

He’d given his boyfriend plenty of time to overcome this. He’d given him plenty of time to get over the fact that he didn’t want to be pushed, he didn’t want to be open, he didn’t want to be _vulnerable._ But Castiel was realizing that even after smashing up the Impala… Dean hadn’t shown any more emotion than he’d needed to.

He knew it was because Dean wasn’t used to it. He knew it was because Dean would have rathered screw and forget than to confront what he was truly feeling. He was used to being told to be a man. To man up. He wasn’t truly used to anyone being there for him.

So Castiel concocted a plan on how he could get Dean to lay bare for him, to be in a vulnerable position without any talking necessary so that he could show his boyfriend he would always be there for him. Even when Dean wasn’t in control. He would show him that it didn’t have to be a bad thing to hand the reins over.

Castiel kissed Dean with a vigor, feeling his boyfriend pull him in with strength and purpose. Since they’d started having sex again, it had been non-stop. They’d done it in the back of the, still, broken Impala so many times that at one point they’d knocked her off the jack and sent them reeling amidst their orgasms. It had been something to laugh at afterwards.

Castiel got the impression that it was how Dean was going about searching for love. Had he not been there, he had no doubt Dean would have gone after a slew of women or even men. But because he had someone he did truly love on demand, someone who was always ready to love Dean as much as he needed, he found them going through more condoms than he could buy. He couldn’t keep up, really.

Right now they were camped at the edge of the lot in an old junker that Bobby was planning on selling for parts. In fact, the only thing left on it was the doors, the windows, and the wheels. The entire body was cleaned out on the inside. It was void of all the seats and the like.

So Dean saw it as an opportunity. Don’t ask him how but he’d managed to make it actually comfortable in the space. He’d taken a ton of blankets and pillows and had thrown them all over the car. He’d dressed it up, of course. Enough to make it romantic before he’d taken Cas out there in hopes that he would be… _rewarded_ for his efforts.

Castiel smiled as Dean tried to lay him back into the nest that he’d made for them but instead, Castiel pushed him back, getting on top of him.

Dean smirked. “Oh? You takin’ charge tonight, angel? You gonna ride me?”

The raven-haired man chuckled. “Not tonight, baby, no. I’m up here… because I want to show you how much I love you,” he said as he leaned down and kissed him.

Dean’s head tilted back as he felt Castiel’s lips move down to the hollow of his neck. His eyes fluttered closed. Wasn’t that his move? That was how he always got Cas to be putty in his hands. Why was his angel stealing his moves?

Of course, it wasn’t something he asked as Castiel lifted his shirt and made it pool under his arms. He felt lips against his skin and he breathed out a shaky sigh, feeling Castiel pay attention to his body in a way he never had before.

“Is it my birthday?” he joked.

Castiel gave a low chuckle as he took the other’s shirt off completely. He moved, settling between Dean’s legs so that the hunter’s thighs rested on his own. “I just wanted to do something a little different tonight,” he whispered as he brushed his lips against one of Dean’s nipples before he sucked it into his mouth and twirled his tongue around it.

At that Dean moaned, letting his jaw go slack. He gave light moans as a grinning Castiel just kept going, enjoying the way Dean moaned for him. He brought his fingers up and he slowly unbuttoned Dean’s jeans. He pushed his hand in and slowly palmed his love.  

“Mm...Fuck, angel… you’re really all in tonight, aren’t you?”

Castiel smirked and moved to kiss him. “Yes,” he whispered against his skin, dragging his lips and nose back down his neck.

To say that Dean was incredibly hot for teacher would have been an understatement. The hunter was already erect and sweating for Cas and it had been _minutes_. He didn’t know how long he was going to last if Cas kept teasing him the way he was.

But when Dean barred his neck for Cas… he seemed to finally take stock of what was going on: the position he was in, the way Castiel was stripping him and laying him out, the way he had his body.

He moved a bit suddenly, trying to sit back up, trying to regain some control. But Castiel eased him back down. “Baby, relax,” he said.

“Cas–”

“Shh,” he shushed gently as he dragged him in for another kiss. “We’ve been together for months you know… and I’ve never had you. I’ve never made love to you.”

Dean swallowed hard at the prospect. No, Castiel hadn’t. And there was a reason for it. Dean saw the way Castiel had to open his whole body for him. He knew the way he left himself in Dean’s hands. He had to trust him and let go completely and let Dean catch him. But Dean was unsure if he could do the same. Sure he trusted his boyfriend… but how could he let go. How could he be so… _exposed_.

“Listen,” he began as he laid Dean back down, taking his own clothes off. “I love you, Dean. And you love me. We know this. And you trust me. I know you do. So trust me that I can take care of you. I’ve got your back during a hunt. I’ve got your back in a fight. Let me have your back in this way,” he smiled. “No pun intended.”

Dean gave a slightly nervous chuckle as he licked his lips. He looked up in the dark, looking into his eyes the best he could. He could hear the smile in Castiel’s voice more than he could see it, though it wasn’t as if they couldn’t see each other. Maybe that would make him more comfortable? Maybe he should have Castiel turn the lanterns off they had.

But after a moment of thought, he knew that wasn’t what he needed. He just needed. To trust the man above him.

Dean’s silence and lack of pulling away as Castiel leaned in for another kiss was the closest thing he was going to get to a green light.

Dean kissed back tentatively, wrapping his arms around him like how Cas did when he was in this position. He had to admit that it was a little strange but the way Castiel kissed him, the way he was already reaching to pull down his pants and boxers… he was wondering if he should give his angel free rein more.

Castiel, on the other hand, was just as nervous as Dean. He had never been in this position before. His confidence was inflated bravado that he’d put on in order to make Dean feel at ease. So far he was pulling it off. He just hoped he didn’t screw it up.

Dean’s language of choice was sex. It was physical attention and love. That was how they spoke. That was how they communicated eighty percent of the time; through their bodies. And of course Castiel had no problem with that. He just hoped he was as fluid in this language as Dean was.

He moved his lips down Dean’s body, urging him to relax as he pushed his legs open wider and pressed kisses on his thighs.

Dean closed his eyes a moment. The action was tender and meant to be loving. But Dean felt open. So open. And this was only the beginning.He let out a breath, begging his heart to relax when he suddenly felt Castiel’s mouth wrapping around the head of his cock.

His jaw dropped and he let out a strangled moan. Now that sensation he was familiar with and he could definitely handle that.

He brought his hand down and wove it into Castiel’s hair, taking a fistful of the strands. He grinned a little when he heard his lover react to having his hair lightly pulled. He nearly forgot Castiel liked that.

Castiel bobbed his head, wanting only to bring Dean pleasure. He moved his hands over his thigh, teasing the skin.

He could feel Dean whining and wanting to jerk into his mouth but he pulled off with a pop. “Oh we are so not done yet,” he muttered as he moved back up, pressing Dean back as he kissed him passionately, his hands reaching for the lube he’d brought.

When Dean heard the cap to the lube, he pulled back from the kiss… but he said nothing. He simply looked up at the other.

“Dean… baby, if you want me to stop, all you have to do is say so. You know that, don’t you?”

“N-no… no, I want you to. I want you to um… you know, that sentimental thing you said that was _totally_ chick-flick-y,” he said.

Castiel laughed as he brushed their noses. “You mean the part where I said I want to make love to you?” he smiled.

Dean melted a little, matching his expression. “It sounds better when you say it, angel,” he whispered.

Castiel pressed their bodies together. “Relax,” he breathed against his skin as he squirted some of the lube into his fingers and he felt Dean stiffen. “You’re in good hands. Promise. And if you want me to stop at any point, just say so.”

Dean nodded and did his best to relax as he felt Castiel’s fingers at his entrance. He gasped a little at the feeling and he closed his eyes, trying to stay calm. It wasn’t like Dean was worried he wouldn’t like it or that it would hurt. Come on, he was bisexual. It was more than being attracted to men, it was experimenting as well. He’d spent enough nights alone with lube and his fingers buried inside himself that he knew how it would feel.

But there had been a reason Dean had never gone out and tried it. Because all of it left him open and in the other person’s hands. He didn’t like the thought of it. He had to be in command. How else was he supposed to be able to control himself?

Just then, his mind working, he felt Castiel slowly push his finger into him and he arched a little. He made a small noise, telling the other he wasn’t feeling any pain and to continue.

In that moment, Castiel was no longer scared or nervous. Not after seeing the downright responsive way Dean was going to be with him. Not when he’d pushed one finger into the man and he’d had to keep a moan at bay.

He smirked before he curled that finger, getting a noise from the other that was like a shout but it was one of pure pleasure.

Dean was already panting a little, his mind and thoughts fading into the background as his body craved more of what Cas was giving him. He heard words, Cas asking if he liked that as he began to work his finger in and out. He could only nod and tell the other that yes, it was something else entirely.

Without truly realizing it, he was letting go. His body loosened and he let himself be in this position, under Castiel’s eyes and under his body. He let himself be susceptible to the scrutiny that Cas would never give. Because he loved him.  

Castiel watched Dean’s body open up for him as he began to enjoy himself. He himself was mesmerized at the way Dean licked and bit at his lips, trying to keep his noises quiet until he leaned down and told him how much he wanted to hear him. How much it turned him on.

Dean had given a deep, guttural, moan at that. Perhaps he liked it when Castiel took charge. Or maybe he just liked being told that no matter what way they did this, no matter the position… he had the ability to turn Cas on. That in itself was a turn on.

Castiel pressed a kiss to his stomach when he added another finger, giving Dean the stretch he was truly looking for so that Dean could take something much bigger.

All he could do was look on in awe when Dean tipped his head back and let out a whimper at the feeling. He’d been about to stop, ask the other if he was okay… but as Dean started to move on his fingers, he quickly realized that the whimper was one of pleasure and not pain.

“Mm. You’re gorgeous,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed him.

Dean felt his cheeks heat at the comment but he didn’t respond in words. No, instead he kissed his lover back, silencing him from making any more comments that would leave him thinking that he was actually worth this. That he could be this vulnerable all the time.

Castiel chuckled against his lips, knowing it was Dean’s way of making him stop talking. Because just like with talking, Dean could only take so many compliments before he shut down and just couldn’t hear it any longer. But Castiel wasn’t about to let the hunter pull away. Not this time. So he kept going.

He curled his fingers, pressing against his sweet spot again so that the only thing that was coming out of Dean’s mouth were moans. “You are, baby. Look at you: spread out and trying to take my fingers in deeper,” he breathed against his skin.

Dean made noises, his fingers gripping the blankets beneath them. He couldn’t respond, couldn’t find the words as his whole body trembled. He felt Cas add a third finger and already he was beginning to feel full. What would it feel like when Castiel was inside him?

His eyes rolled back a little and Castiel’s smirk grew as he rutted his member against his thigh. His whole body was dying for the friction, dying to be inside Dean. But more than that, he wanted Dean to feel it. He wanted Dean to feel that he wanted this just as much as he did. And that it was okay.

Dean felt his own cock hard and throbbing against his stomach. If he looked down he was sure he would be able to see it leaking with the anticipation, wanting more but being forced to wait as Castiel took his time. “Cas…” he finally mustered the strength to whisper.

“Are you ready, baby? Let me hear you say it. Come on,” he whispered into his ear, dragging the lobe between his teeth.

Dean felt the arousal pooling at the small of his back. In the position they were in, the attention his body was receiving… it was so overwhelming that he had no control when he made a noise he would probably deny ever making.

“Say it, baby,” Castiel demanded.

Dean shuddered at the way Castiel commanded him to do something. That shouldn’t have been as much of a turn on as it was.

“Cas… I want you– _need_ you. I need more… please,” he whispered. His cheeks were on fire, his whole body crawling underneath the skin because asking, begging… it wasn’t something he was used to. It left him feeling weak and wanting to crawl under a rock, hit something and be the man people wanted him to be. But as Castiel leaned down and kissed him before he was reaching for a condom and laying him back once more… he realized that in that moment– he was exactly the man Castiel needed him to be.

Castiel rolled the condom on as quickly as he could manage before he was spreading the other wide like Dean had done to him so many times. He positioned himself at Dean’s entrance, slowly easing in.

Dean felt a slight sting but behind the sting was a blossom of pleasure and he angled to meet it.

Castiel was reeling from it all, though. The way Dean felt around him was a new experience for him and he had to stop himself from simply thrusting into Dean uncontrollably and chasing his pleasure. He finally understood what Dean went through.

He leaned down and kissed Dean softly, feeling the other's body tremble slightly. “You okay, baby?” he whispered against his lips.

Dean swallowed and nodded. “I-I’m okay. Keep going, Cas… please.”

Castiel made a noise of acknowledgement. He gave them both a beat longer before he moved; pulling out of Dean and pushing back inside.

They gave matching moans as Castiel set a slow pace that wasn’t really enough for either of them but Castiel wanted to make love to Dean. He wanted to show him he was there for him at the most intimate times.

He cradled his face, kissing him and swallowing his moans as Dean gripped him. He knew what Dean was feeling, he knew very well. So he gave a bit more, rolling his hips into him to give him the pleasure he craved.

Dean moaned and whined, something he was not used to doing. His blush was all the way down to his shoulders but the way Castiel was loving him, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

His teeth grazed Castiel’s shoulder as the other moved down his neck to kiss his skin. “Cas…” he moaned.

“Mm. Just like that, baby… moan for me,” Castiel whispered.

“Fuck,” he muttered at the way his body reacted to Cas’ words. “Keep talking, Cas. It’s so fucking hot,” he stuttered out, his words coming slow when he was panting the way he was.

Castiel took hold of Dean’s hands and laced them above their heads as he moved deeper and faster, loving the way Dean’s body thrashed for his, moved for his, and angled to take him deeper. Dean just wanted more.

“Yeah? You like that, baby? You like it when I make love to you? When I have you a way no one else can?” he murmured. “Because you’re mine,” he said, not knowing where his possessiveness came from as he moved and clamped down on the skin on Dean’s neck, effectively marking him.

Dean gripped him so tight he thought the other might leave bruises as he moaned. Both of them could feel it all building as Castiel’s hip movements started to become a little more erratic.

Dean barely knew how to hang on. He could already feel his orgasm coming and with Castiel whispering seductive things in his ear, moving into him at just the right angle– he felt like he would explode. “Cas–”

“I know. I know,” Castiel groaned, trying to keep himself upright but the truth was, with the onslaught of pleasure, he too was trembling, chasing his orgasm.

He pulled Dean in for a filthy, messy, kiss. Their tongues pressed against each other desperately as their movements started to mirror it. Castiel was no longer holding back as he moved in and out of Dean. One hand went down, pulling his thigh up to move deeper into him and the moans Dean gifted him with were delicious.

Dean gripped the blankets, his whole body arched in pure, unadulterated, pleasure. He never imagined that being in this position, being the bottom, was much different than it was when he topped. He knew it had to be different from the outstanding dissimilarity that was one person giving and the other receiving but he just thought pleasure was pleasure. That being said, Dean was sure he’d seen the light on that one.

This was so much more, so much different. Not only was he feeling the pleasure of Castiel being inside him but the pleasure of his lover giving _everything_ to him. Mind, body, soul– he could swear he could feel it all. Another thing he would deny. n

“Fuck, Cas,” he moaned as Castiel snapped his hips harder.

Both of them were panting hard, gasping for air but needing each other’s mouths at the same time.

“Angel...mm, fuck– I can’t–”

Castiel cut the other off with his lips, reaching between them and gripping his cock and beginning to stroke him in time with his thrusts. “I-it’s okay, baby. Come on. Come for me. Wanna see how beautiful you look coming with me inside you.”

Castiel’s words on top of his actions was enough to send Dean over the edge. His entire body stiffened and arched as he came so hard that when he did, it seemed to be everywhere. His words were cries of the others name and expletives that neither would remember in an hour. But was the perfect summary at the moment.

Castiel’s own jaw went slack and as Dean clenched around him, Castiel moved into him with a sloppy speed until he felt his own orgasm hit him like a surprise.

“Fuck,” he groaned, unable to keep himself up any longer and he collapsed on top of Dean.

Dean gave a soft grunt at the feeling of his boyfriend landing on top of him, but all in all it felt pleasurable.

His mind and his vision swam as he let his high take him, as he let it make it’s way through his body. He had taken to gripping Castiel so when he finally realized it, when he was coming down, he was noticing the cramp in his hand.

Castiel pulled out of Dean once his bliss had ended. He tossed the condom away for the moment, wrapping it in the tissues he’d brought out incase. When he looked up, his eyes met green and he realized Dean was staring at him.

He chuckled. “What? Did I do something?” he asked before his smile began to fade. “Was I bad? Because I can get better–”

Dean cut him off with a kiss that he snickered into. “Angel that was perfect,” he whispered against his lips. “It was amazing. Honest.”

Castiel’s smile returned anew and he leaned over, kissing him once more. It was much different than they’d been sharing a moment ago. Now they were soft, unhurried.

“I’m glad I could show you what it is you do to me sometimes twice a night,” he grinned.

Dean laughed again and pulled him closer. He’d not felt this light, this happy, since well before their father had even found them. Since before everything happened. Because Castiel had that effect on him. Castiel had that way of loving him, knowing exactly what he needed.

“I know what you were doing, angel,” he whispered as he pressed soft kisses to Cas’ shoulder, having figured it out sometime during their love making.

Castiel hummed. “I can assure you I don’t know _what_ you are talking about. I was giving my boyfriend a good lay,” he joked lightly.

“You were trying to make your boyfriend see that he doesn’t always have to be the macho man people usually expect from him… am I wrong?” he asked. He wasn’t mad or upset with Cas for doing what he did. In fact… he was thankful.

Castiel’s shoulders relaxed. “You’re not wrong. I wanted you to see that you can be vulnerable… or at least vulnerable with me… and you don’t have to worry about anything. You don’t have to worry that I’m going to turn on you… think less of you. So I–”

“Put me in the most vulnerable position you could think of while also not having to make me talk about my feelings like an episode of Doctor Phil?”

Castiel sucked in a breath. “Are you mad?” he whispered.

“I’m furious,” he whispered back, making Cas’ heart sink a little. “I’m furious that it took me until now to see that you’re always there for me… in every way. I’m sorry I haven’t been more… _more_ recently.”

Castiel looked up when Dean was telling him he wasn’t angry. “It’s okay. It’s more than okay, baby. Honestly. You went through something horrible. I get it. I didn’t want to force you into talking about it. So I didn’t,” he said as he kissed his cheek. “But I want you to know that crying with me or just letting me hold you… especially when no one else is looking… I promise it won’t ever make me think you’re less of the manly man you truly are,” he smiled. “You’re still my strong hunter that anyone should fear the wrath of.”

Castiel’s words made Dean’s heart swell and he pulled him in as close as he could manage. He kissed Cas deep and passionate but still tender, putting all his feelings into the kiss. Because this man right here? He was his home. He was his perfection. He was everything and he wasn’t even sure if Castiel was aware of it. He didn’t know what he would do without the other.

“I love you,” he whispered when he pulled away.

Castiel smiled. “And I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading because I enjoyed writing and this will kind of play a part to Dean's recovery.


End file.
